Dear Year 28,

When I turned 26, I wrote 26 realizations that I claimed to understood during that time of my life. Only to find myself unlearning and relearning everything that I've come to realize on my 27th year.

DICLAIMER: Do you get a little bit sentimental when you're in your room on a weekend and the only company you have is your laptop and your overflowing thoughts? Well, this post is the outcome of such so if you are not into this kind of vibe, go read another post of mine (the less cringey ones!lol!) because this is just another weekend feels post I'd like share! 

Now that you're here, I only have one favor to ask-please be my friend. A friend who'll constantly remind me to push myself to become a better version of me. For lately, I've been way too comfortable with where I am in my life, that somehow I'm no longer sure if I'm really satisfied with everything that I have right now or if I'm just starting to settle and accept things the way they were even if it's something that I don't really want. Maybe doubting it in the first place just confirmed the latter. I don't want to sound ungrateful for all the blessings that I have but there is still a part of me that makes me feel like there's so much more that I can do. I still have so much more to understand and work on about myself and I really need your help. I'm not sure when or how or if it even makes sense, but there are parts of me that I seem to have lost along the way which I kinda need right now.

Remind me to live, work and dream the way I want to. For a lot of people think their way is right and more often that not force their ways on you, oblivious to the fact that we are all holding different maps going to different destinations. Help me be in control of everything that I do in my life despite other people telling me otherwise. I've met a lot of people who are quick to point out what I am doing wrong but never really offering anything that has sense to possibly correct that mistake they

were pointing out in the first place. They act like they know everything but the mere fact that all they can do is to point out other people's mistakes say a lot about them. They probably don't know what they are doing with their life as well. Remind me not to listen to them but to always be guided with what I feel is right. For the possibilities of that being correct will always be higher. If not, at least I'll be comforted by the thought that I chose this and it will always be up to me on to what I should do next.

Let me love without the fear of being judged, or being hurt or even being unloved. For if I let all these fears stop me from loving wholeheartedly, then there's really no point of loving at all. A world without genuine love is not worth living in. I know that the people I care about deserves that kind of love and I shouldn't let fear get in the way. Help me show the world how I love, not to make them envious but to inspire them to love as well. For with everything that is going on around us, all the violence and hatred, could be lessen if we all learn to love each other. 

Also, remind me to keep working hard for everything that I long to achieve. Bring back that hungry-for-knowledge-corporate-newbie that was once commended by my boss.  For that's the only way I can make each long and inconvenient travel to work, in a congested Metro Manila, more bearable. Now that I come to love the job that I previously considered as a way to make ends meet, help me be the best at it. For it opened new things for my growth and development, it deserves nothing but the best from me. 

At the same time, despite being blessed with my corporate job, help me strive so much more in establishing myself as a writer. I know it's taking me too long. Too long that you might say I should just give up on it since I already have a job that could satisfy me financially and professionally. But this is my dream and my heart will never be satisfied until I reach for it. So I will never quit on it. I might sound like I'm reaching for the moon over here but I don't care. I know you'll be able to support me well since you're already here. This year will definitely be different. 

Last but not the least, remind me to love myself more. You should know by now that I can be pretty hard on myself most of the time. I always have the feeling of not being good enough for anything or for anybody. Somehow, I've always turned this bad habit of mine into something good by encouraging myself to be better and somehow it works but the effect is just temporary. Faced by yet another circumstance, and the cycle goes on. Please be there for me during those times. Remind me that my worth will never be measured on how other people treat or see me. It is measured by how much I am willing to love myself no matter what. 

I know that my request is starting to sound more and more intimidating but I believe that you can do this for me. Please do this, so that when it's time for you to leave, Year 29 will have a hard time looking for something to improve on because you were just too awesome as a friend!

Love,

Alanah