I once read in a manga that the reason why big brothers and sisters were born first was to protect the little ones who come after them. In most cases, that responsibility was given to them even before they could utter their complete sentence or learn their ABCs.



Remember that time you had to give your favorite toy to your little brother or sister just because they like it and won’t stop crying until you give in (Yeap! That was my long-time Barbie doll!)? Remember the disapproving look of your parents when you refused (I was thinking why don’t they just get her a new toy instead? Why does it have to be this doll?!)? Remember how they try to beg you to just give it (Why?! Oh Why?!)? Remember how sad you were to let your toy go (that was my freaking Barbie doll! MY BARBIE DOLL!)? Remember how happy your little brother or sister was (but that was mine! She was really my mortal enemy at that time!)? That moment seemed to be just a common scenario in every household but it was actually a very important milestone. It was the time we embarked the path of being the “Ate” or “Kuya”. It was the time we accepted our responsibility as the eldest. Remember now? Yes, we’ve been tricked.

Despite the fact that the responsibility of taking care of another life form even before you realize that you will eventually produce (for the “Ate’s”) and take care of yours one day seemed nothing to our little brothers and sisters, we still end up doing what we were supposed to do because that’s how it should be. It’s not just because that’s how we were programmed by our parents but because through it all, we care that much (cringing right now!).

See? So for the younger siblings, please don’t hate us for being the eldest and acting as one because everything we do that you hate, is actually for your own sake. Below are the most common accusation and rants of our younger siblings with my insight on every misconception they had on us with the hope of shedding some light on them.  

1. “Just because you’re the eldest doesn’t mean that I should follow you!”

 It’s been common for the eldest to be called bossy and exaggeratedly being defined as making the lives of their younger siblings as a living hell. But the truth is, we are all just representing our parents on those situations. We were teaching you to be obedient. We often order you to do things to avoid getting into trouble with our parents. Things like cleaning up the mess you made while they were away. Like, teaching you some household chores so that you could help out your parents in the future. Barking orders might be seen as just that but the reality is, we do that to help you on your path to a better you.

2. “You should stop acting like you’re the best at everything and making me feel bad all the time!”

We’ve never seen it as a competition. All we wanted was to be the best that we could be so that we can set a good example to our little siblings. We want them to be the best so we strive as hard as we can to achieve that. It’s hard and the pressure of performing well when you are the eldest is so nerve wracking. We aim to be your inspiration, not your competition.

3. “Why won’t you let me do things on my own?! I want to be happy!”

 As the eldest, the responsibility of taking good care of our younger siblings is so high which could turn every elder sisters and brothers out there as overprotective. We are considered to be your second parent, so please don’t blame us if we want to be there guiding you on every decision you make until we really see that you’re ready for that decision. We want you to be truly happy which is why we try our best to draw you away on things that might hurt you. Even if it meant that you’ll be mad at us for doing so.

4. “Stop being so clingy! I’m not a child anymore!”

We don’t do mushy stuff (sometimes they can be cheesy…I know!) to embarrass our little siblings. We just care that much. Like a Mom who sees their daughter and sons as if it they were just born yesterday. That’s how we will always see you. You are our precious one that we opt to care and protect for the rest of our lives. So be nicer and show us a bit of love!