We are now in another chapter of our lives. Another opportunity for us to start a year with a clean slate. I know, most of you are now up and about in achieving all your New Year’s resolution but allow me to have this moment to take a step back and see the beauty that 2018 was.

I will be honest, despite the overwhelming blessings that was given to me last year, 2018 wasn’t an entire year of joy and laughter. I had a lot of struggles too and there were times that I was always so anxious. So anxious that I felt like I was falling into a pit of depression. But whenever I was about to give up, I surrendered everything to God. He was the only one who knew how to push me forward.

He surrounded me with right people at the right time. He didn’t take all the struggles away but He blessed me with the right opportunities to keep me going. He was there in every moment of my life, whether it be bad or good.

There were times when I lose my will to leave my bed and face life because I felt like there was really nothing to it. For me, it was like a never ending routine that didn’t excite me at all. I felt so ungrateful for feeling that way but somehow I just felt empty inside. So that’s when God gave me the opportunity to travel to places or do things I’ve never done before. God blessed me with weekends that are worth remembering. I saw the beauty of the Taal Volcano crater, surfed in the thrillingwaves of La Union, swam in the majestic water of Palawan and most of all, finally explored my dream country-Japan! All of these breathe some new life to me and somehow I felt more alive than ever.

There were also times when I felt like I’m no longer performing well in my job that I really considered quitting. Every day, I sat at the same chair, worked on the same table and did my task the best way that I can but oftentimes, I felt like it was not enough. So every time I make a single mistake, I go hard on myself. I felt unappreciated when in fact, it was all just in my head. God made a way to make me realize this by making me win as the employee of the month and making me reach my goal of getting a loyalty award. He showed me that everything can be rewarded if you put passion, hard work and patience in what you do.

There were also times when I started to doubt everything about me- my worth, my relationship and my capabilities. I was just a ball of negativity and there were countless times that I’ll just be crying over the most trivial things because I felt like I was in so much emotional pain. The kind wherein you can’t pinpoint where it started, so you don’t really know what to do to make the pain go away. But God knew exactly how to heal me. He gave me people who untiringly reminded me that I’m more than I think I am. When I almost gave up on trying to be a writer and completely shut down this blog, He blessed me with 10,000 page views. Something that might seem so small for most but was more than enough reason for me to keep writing. He blessed me with relationships that withstood every obstacle. A loving family and friends who supported me no matter what. A partner in life who never gave up on us despite everything that we went through last year, we came out stronger and united than ever. So strong that God gave him enough courage to bend his knee and ask me the question I’ve always dreamed of. YES! Got engaged to the man I've loved for ten years!!! So excited to start another chapter with him!

There are so much I’m so thankful of for 2018 and I didn’t know what I did to deserve everything. If there is something I’m most proud of that would be my faith. How I never gave up on what I want and whom I want to believe in through my faith in Him. My heart is humbled by how great God is. He truly works in the most mysterious and amazing ways. I’ve seen how His plan will always be better than mine and that I just have to trust Him to make everything okay. Actually, more than okay, it will be wonderful! I’m just so grateful and overwhelmed of His greatness! Thankful for 2018 and so excited to see what 2019 is about. With my God, I’m ready to say, “Thank you, next!”